Ok, I know I’ve gone a little overboard with the baby updates lately, but this is the last one, I swear! I really wanted to get the full birth story written down so we’d be sure to always remember every detail. So many of you have emailed and commented wanting to know more about our baby girl’s birth, so I thought I’d share the experience with you. And to make it all worth it, here’s another picture of our little sweetie. 🙂
Ok, here we go:
I haven’t had a hot cup of coffee in days. No matter how many times I re-heat it, by the time I get around to actually drinking it, it’s cold again.
I haven’t shaved my legs in 2 weeks. Gross.
Most days, I don’t get to brush my teeth until after 1 or 2 o’clock.
Lunch? More like, late afternoon snack.
Just call me Bessy the milk cow.
I’m not even going to talk about the sleep thing.
Wow. When you sit down and think about it, you can really find a lot to gripe about. And I could probably come up with so much more. But as I sit here watching my little girl sleep, suddenly every single complaint fades away. Becomes tiny. Unimportant. When I cradle her in my arms and softly sing her favorite songs, my heart is so full I literally get tears in my eyes.
Sure, childbirth was hard. Really hard. But so, SO worth it. In fact, I’m writing it down now so I won’t forget a single second. I want to remember every moment.
I went in to be induced at 7am. My room was big and beautiful with a great view of one of my favorite Dallas areas. Joel helped me into my lovely hospital gown, then the nurse got me all hooked up to everything. Shortly after, the anesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural (that’s right. Epidural. God bless it). My doctor came in and broke my water (which never would have broken on its own, she says. I guess I was never destined to go into labor on my own), which hurt like the devil. Joel nearly fainted. I like that part of the story. 🙂 I was given the medicine to get things started and all that was left at that point was to wait.
My mom and sister came in the room periodically to check on me and keep my spirits up while Joel texted updates to the rest of the family. More waiting.
Finally, it was time to push. This was so scary to me because I knew Cassidy was a big baby- estimated at over 9 pounds. Yikes. The nurse showed me how to push and before I knew it, it was go-time. This had just become very real.
2 ½ hours. Might as well have been 8…or 20. Pushing was hard. Very hard. I held onto Joel for dear life and he helped support my legs and neck while I pushed. There was no screaming, ridiculous breathing exercises or yelling of obscenities at Joel. It was nothing like I had imagined- very calm and quiet, with the chipper encouragements of my nurse. “I can see her head! You’re making great progress!”  But I knew better. I just knew. Each push left me exhausted, red-faced and more and more discouraged. Those 2 ½ hours of pushing came to an abrupt end when it was clear my baby girl was just too big. I had to have a c-section. Ok, fine. No big deal, I said. But I was devastated and so terrified. This wasn’t part of my plan. I had never even considered this option. The horrible recovery…the scar…the pain. Yeah- I was terrified.
They wheeled me into the operating room and got me situated. The doctors were very upbeat and chatted with me about opera while they got things ready. Joel came in a few minutes later in his scrubs. This was happening. My doctor held my hand and assured me everything was going to be just fine. Then she began. Joel stroked my hair and squeezed my hand. I felt lots of pressure- not exactly pain, just pressure and I just laid there in fear and shock at what was happening. Then the world stopped when we both heard the most beautiful sound in the world. Our baby crying. She was out. She was here. Tears rolled down my face and I could hear Joel sobbing saying, “sweetie, that’s our baby girl.” Then he disappeared for a few seconds and returned holding my precious Cassidy, cooing to her softly. He handed her to me and for the first time, I looked my baby girl in the eyes. So this is who had been kicking, wiggling and hiccupping inside of me all these months. I now had a face to put with the movements and it was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen.
“Hi baby girl. I’m your mommy.”  Your mommy. Wow. In just a matter of seconds, my life was totally changed. All that pushing, exhaustion and fear melted away. Joel and I were parents. I have never loved him more.
Everything after that was a blur (they had given me nitrous oxide during the procedure, much to my chagrin, and I was pretty loopy, unfortunately), but I remember being wheeled to the recovery room and getting to see my parents, then my sister and her family and in-laws. Everyone was teary-eyed and so, so happy. It was beautiful.
Recovery wasn’t bad at all. I had the most amazing, sweet, and patient nurses who took exceptional care of me. Poor Joel had to sleep on an uncomfortable futon with a limited amount of pillows that kept getting stolen from him by the nurses to make me and the baby more comfortable. I ended up with about 9 pillows, while Joel was lucky to have even 1. We had a good laugh at this later.
We spent 4 nights in the hospital (which I really enjoyed, actually!) and had lots of visitors. I will always look back on my time in that little recovery room with such fond memories- working on nursing, visiting with friends and family and cuddling with my sweet baby.
Just as quickly as it had all happened, it was time to go home. Thank goodness for my sweet mother who has stayed with us to help (the BIGGEST blessing in the universe!). It was time for us to join the ranks of moms and dads all over the world. A new chapter. Which brings me back to the long list of gripes…remember those? No sleep. Unbrushed teeth. Unshaven legs. Blah, blah, blah. But there’s another list. A list of all the beautiful, wonderful moments I get to share with my little girl on a daily basis. Things like rocking her to sleep singing Sondheim melodies and Edelweiss from The Sound of Music (her favorite), feeding her a bottle and seeing her sweet face watching me intently, seeing her smile in her sleep (heart-melting!), cuddling with her first thing in the morning, watching Joel hold her…I could go on and on and on. My little red headed girl is the greatest blessing in my life. I look into her face and see the miracles of God. Joel and I made that. Childbirth really is a miracle. I see that now.
Very touching and sweet story. May God bless your family.
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Comment by Tamara — February 15, 2012 @ 2:04 PM
What an amazing recollection of your childbirth, it gave me chills!
My kids are all 8-12yrs old and looking back at them as babies and thinking of their births brings me such a longing. It’s difficult to believe I will never do that again, even though it was our choice to stop at 3.
It’s hard, you think this is the rest of your life (the pooping, the crying, the late nights, the tantrums) but it’s not. They do stop cuddling, they do stop needing your lullabies..though they never stop needing you. That chapter goes by so fast (though it doesn’t feel like it). I never understood that until it was over.
She’s beautiful, congratulations!
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Comment by Pip — February 15, 2012 @ 2:26 PM
Thanks for sharing your birth story! Too funny that Joel had to sacrifice pillows for you!
On a side note, I love that you sing Edelweiss to your baby girl. That’s such a beautiful song!
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Comment by Amy @ The Nifty Foodie — February 15, 2012 @ 3:06 PM
That was beautiful, Amy! 🙂
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Comment by Abbi — February 15, 2012 @ 3:16 PM
thanks so much for sharing your miracle…such a blessing!!
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Comment by Karen Strayer — February 15, 2012 @ 4:24 PM
Beautifully written! Thanks for sharing!
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Comment by Kellie — February 15, 2012 @ 5:37 PM
Thanks for sharing! This is definitely something you will cherish and Cassidy will love that you wrote it 🙂
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Comment by Stephanie — February 15, 2012 @ 7:25 PM
Such a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing!
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Comment by Macaroni and Cheesecake — February 15, 2012 @ 7:44 PM
Amy, it was a maternal pleasure to read Cassidy’s birth story — YOUR story — awwwwww… I just loved this. I can picture you sitting in that antique rocker singing lullabyes to your sweet baby girl. Edelweiss was my son’s favorite, too. 🙂 Congratulations again!!!
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Comment by Kimby — February 16, 2012 @ 7:58 AM
Sweetest story everrrr!
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Comment by Kayle (The Cooking Actress) — February 16, 2012 @ 8:59 AM
I just had a baby girl of my own 5 months ago. Your details just made me relive my day and think about how wonderful (and SO TRUE) everything is! I agree, all the pain and exhaustion goes away once you hear that tiny little scream. I did all of this naturally and completely understand the pain you were in! It is such a blessing to become a mommy. Enjoy it, because she grows up so fast!
On a side note, the pink blanket pictured in your photo is the exact same one we have and we absolutely LOVE those blankets. I actually bought them in every color I could get them in! (yes, even the blue and green ones!)
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Comment by Kim — February 16, 2012 @ 9:27 AM
Congratulations on your sweet baby girl!! I had a very similar birth story. I cried and cried when they said that c-section was pretty much my only option. It’s such an emotional time. Every time I look into Jack’s face, though, I would do it over a million times. 🙂 Enjoy every second of this time when she is so little!!
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Comment by Rachel — February 16, 2012 @ 10:57 AM
Wow! She is a beauty! Congratulations on your sweet blessing. Thanks for sharing your birth story with us 🙂
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Comment by Laura — February 16, 2012 @ 12:22 PM
Amy, I love hearing this story. While I’m sorry things didn’t go as YOU’D planned, we both know it’s GOD who really gets to plan things. And He planned for this sweet miracle of a baby girl to come into you and Joel’s life. HE was watching over you, HE gave Cassidy Grace that sweet face and red hair, and HE made sure you made it through the c-section with flying colors. Heck, it even seems HE made sure Joel didn’t actually faint!
I just love imagining you singing to little Cassidy. Edelweiss was the song my mom used to sing to me when I was a little girl. I can’t wait to sing it to my baby one day.
God bless your little family, Amy, more and more everyday.
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Comment by Kelsey — February 16, 2012 @ 1:47 PM
I love birth stories. They become much more meaningful after you’ve had one of your own. Enjoy that baby girl and get lots of rest when you can! The ride gets more and more exciting and I can’t wait to “see” her grow via your blog. 🙂 What a sweetie she is already!!
Oh, and ditto everything Kelsey said!!
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Comment by Nikki — February 16, 2012 @ 4:11 PM
Thank you for sharing such a special moment in your life with us! I truly feel excited for you, and your story makes me look forward to having a story like this of my own someday. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!
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Comment by Kimiko — February 16, 2012 @ 7:03 PM
What a wonderful story, thank you so much for sharing! I’m not a mum yet, but your story shows me that this must be really an extraordinary moment in life. I got tears in my eyes whilst reading it. I wish all the best to you and your family- and Cassidy is so unbelievebally sweet- what an extraordinarily pretty baby =)
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Comment by Sweet Temptations — February 17, 2012 @ 2:16 AM
Congrats lady!
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Comment by Anne — February 18, 2012 @ 4:52 PM
Congratulations! She is just gorgeous. Thanks for sharing your story!
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Comment by Jessica @ Sunny Side Up — February 23, 2012 @ 12:10 AM
Congratulations! I love hearing other mom’s birthing stories, yours was written so beautifully too! Take tons of videos and pictures. I know you have heard it a million times but it does go by too fast so continue to enjoy every moment!
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Comment by Ang — February 23, 2012 @ 11:23 PM
For some reason, I haven’t stopped by your site in a while. Reading this birth story brought tears to my eyes. In a little over 3 weeks, I will have my 4th c-sec. I remember those feelings of devestation when I had my first one. My little one was breech and, because of a rare pregnancy complication, had to come early. She didn’t turn and I ended up with the c-sec. I felt all sorts of emotions about it for months after that. It sounds like you are dealing very well with the recovery and emotional shift after your c-sec. And, I’m really glad to read that–it can be hard when that wasn’t in the plan! Congratulations on your little one. Enjoy every minute–they grow WAY too fast!
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Comment by Amanda — February 28, 2012 @ 7:19 PM
found you via Pinterest (the Bunny Bait recipe), decided: I want to read more of this blog! So here I am w/tears in my eyes reading about the wonderful birth of Cassidy! “These are the moments” you’ll thank God that you’re alive! My son will be 14 in a few months – he’s my only one & I treasure every day w/him! Reading about your experience brought it all rushing back – thank you for that. I miss holding my baby boy. When I go to snuggle now, he rolls his eyes & tells me to “stop!” But then today he held my hand while we crossed the street. Ah, bliss!
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Comment by Dawn — March 4, 2012 @ 5:12 PM
Awwwww, your sweet story brought tears to my eyes. Wishing you the best.
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Comment by shirley — March 7, 2012 @ 8:54 PM
i’m obviously really late coming over to say… congrats!!!
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Comment by ashley — March 10, 2012 @ 9:08 PM
I was on StumbleUpon.com and I stumbled upon your blog and boy am I glad I did. I am 26 weeks pregnant and have been having some complications to where they are now talking C-Section. Neither my mom or my two sisters have had to have a C-Section so I am the first and it has been causing a lot of worry since no one knows really what to expect. It was such a blessing and so needed to be able to read your beautiful story of the birth of your daughter and the encouragement it brought just reading how everything turned out. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story!
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Comment by Carly — April 12, 2012 @ 6:48 PM
I was a nanny for a 2 and a half year old and a 3 month old. The only way to get that little baby to sleep was Edelweiss. This brings back so many memories. They’re now 4 and 2. These moments go by so fast.
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Comment by Lauren Michelle — May 3, 2012 @ 11:37 PM
I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog. I am 36 weeks pregnant with my first child, and they are talking about a C-Section because she is breech. Your Birth Story made me feel so much better about having one. I Can’t wait to hold my precious little girl now. Thank you So much!!
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Comment by Robin — June 18, 2012 @ 9:48 PM